(As discussed.) There's a moose loose aboot my hoose. Unfortunately, in person (in mouse?), it didn't look particularly like the ones in this picture. It looked more like a sneaky fucking evil mouse of doom. It wasn't even wearing a scarf. Just you wait, mouse. We'll see who's looking smug once the dog gets here. {Mama & Papa Mouse from Splendid Willow Avenue} ...

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Just in case you were worrying, I'm still here. I've been busy going on a road trip to my favourite farm, watching cheesy rom-coms with a kitten in my lap, dancing wildly with awesome ladies (and Fin), becoming infatuated with doe-eyed rescue dogs, watching the entire first series of Downton Abbey in under a week, and, mainly, working. A lot.  It's surprisingly easy to get out...

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You know how I said yesterday I was fucking knackered? Well, it's true. I am. But not just because of my whirlwind weekend. It's also because of this. Blogging, every day, like a maniac.  I don't think I need to tell you how much I love blogging. You know I do. Blogging has given me two precious commodities that are hard to come by...

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THURSDAY Race from work to the station. Run over several tourists' feet with wheelie suitcase. Decide that a small pasta salad, a G&T in a can and a jumbo packet of crisps constitutes a balanced dinner. Frantically read several chapters of How to Be a Woman on the train in preparation for Blook Club while simultaneously applying multiple layers of glittery nail varnish. Get...

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I know I said I wasn't going to post today, but I'm in a weddingy mood, and I think you'll forgive me when you read this. Remember this post that I wrote, a lifetime ago, about Sophie? For those who are new around here, or those who haven't googled "douche canoe" recently and therefore haven't read that post (it's worrying how many people do...

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I'm off to London tonight, and more than a wee bit excited about tomorrow's Any Other Party. My outfit is packed. The deed is done. No going back. If you want to know what I ended up choosing, well, you'll just have to wait and see. I'm never quite sure what I think of London. Do I love it or loathe it? I can't tell. It's crowded, dirty, unfamiliar,...

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I make no secret of the fact that I'm a Strictly Come Dancing fan. It's not an exaggeration to say it's one of the highlights of my year. That wall display up there? I made it. That's right. I also cut out and hand-lettered eight complete sets of gold paper scoring paddles for my friends and me. Some people might say I have...

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Well, yes, I am, as a matter of fact, thanks to a slightly rash experiment involving a switch in my, erm... hormonal arrangements... (Sigh. I really am useless when it comes to talking about anything vaguely related to human reproduction. How the hell am I going to cope at Blook Club? I'm only at the start of Chapter 4 and already there's been...

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I like to think I've cultivated a bit of a reputation here at A Safe Mooring. A reputation for serious intellectual discourse, highbrow cultural references, and above all impeccable taste. My readers, who are without exception intelligent, classy and tasteful themselves, have come to expect a certain standard from me and I consider it my duty to endeavour at all times to live up to...

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I seem to have accidentally fucked about with my blog feed. Oops. This is just a test. I wasn't here. You didn't see me. But I couldn't just post nothing, so here's a picture of  Marilyn and Marlon, generally being awesome together, from the appropriately-named Awesome People Hanging Out Together. Photographs by Milton H. Green. ...

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It's finally here! I don't care when autumn officially starts, for me it's September. (For the Scottish climate, it's mid-July, but that's beside the point.) August seemed to go on forever, packed with parties and visitors and Fringe by the Sea, and now I'm ready to slow down, curl up on the couch and welcome the changing season with open arms.  Here's a little preview...

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Notice anything in this picture? See it? No? Allow me to assist: It's only Lillian and Leonard a picture of me on Style Me Pretty! Okay, so it's a paid spot in the Little Black Book, but it still totally counts. To quote Cara, I know we paid them and everything, but this makes me feel kind of fancy. (Please also note the...

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