Wedding envy

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

One of the most lust-worthy weddings EVER. Sigh.
Beautiful Aisling, captured by Simon Fazackarley, via Rock My Wedding

So. Yesterday, I announced that this week would officially be known as wedding week here on the blog. Unfortunately, I only decided that this week would be wedding week about three seconds before I wrote and published that post. "It'll be fine!" I thought. "I have LOADS to say about weddings! I love weddings!"

And it's true, I do love weddings, even now. I still subscribe to a couple of the more awesome wedding blogs, and I follow a few more wedding industry tweeps than I care to admit. I figured I could churn out a week's worth of wedding-related goodness in my sleep, no bother. 

One post in particular that I thought would be a piece of cake to write was something along the lines of "If I could do it all again, what would I do differently?". I've written elsewhere that some aspects of wedding planning literally reduced me to tears, and that my wedding wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination (because, um, perfect doesn't exist). One inescapable consequence of continuing to read the odd wedding blog (and especially keeping up with Lillian and Leonard's blog - oh, the swoon-worthiness!) is that I am still being bombarded with images of beautiful, stylish, imaginative weddings that, on a purely aesthetic level, blow mine completely out of the water. Major wedding envy. Surely, then, there must be lots of things I'd like to change, if I could go back?

Well all I can say is, thanks blog. Because of you, I have had this Kylie Minogue song stuck in my head ALL DAY.

This is so embarrassing. Not the Kylie Minogue part - there is no way I'm the only one who was obsessed with Kylie circa 1989, a.k.a. the Jason Donovan Years, do not even lie - but the wouldn't-change-a-thing part. Have I no imagination? No ambition? Am I so utterly smug and narcissistic that if some unspecified deity granted me the power to travel back in time, thus simultaneously disproving the chronology protection conjecture and causing my head to explode, there isn't ONE TINY THING I would change??

Honestly, I racked my brains. I did.

First, I considered the obvious - the dress.

Erstwhile objects of my affection.
Michelle Roth 'Maya' and Stephanie Allin 'Kelly' and 'Agi'

Every season, wedding dress designers unleash a whole new crop of silken beauties to shamelessly tempt and seduce us. There is always, always, another dress waiting just around the corner that is more beautiful, more elegant, more glamorous, more flattering, more perfect. The dreaded You & Your Wedding forums (yes, that's right - that's where it all started. I'm even more embarrassed now) are packed with dress wobble after dress wobble; women who are filled with regrets and insecurities, wondering if they should have picked this dress or that dress, held out a little longer for The One... it's exhausting.

Sure, other dresses have caught my eye, and my imagination, in the year or so since I have been aware of these things. I'm sure many of them would have looked just as good, maybe better. The point is - who knows? And more importantly, who cares? I don't believe there is One Dress for me any more than I believe there is One Person for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm really quite fond of Fin, but it strikes me that it would be an awfully big coincidence that the one person in all the billions of people in the world who could possibly make me happy just happened to turn up in the right place at the right time. Seriously. What are the chances?

Besides. I looked hawt in that dress. Job done.

Spellbinding. Celia's stunning wedding venue shot by Cathryn Farnsworth via A Practical Wedding.

Well then, if not the dress, what about the venue? Would I opt instead for a dreamy, fairy-lit landscape? An elegant city townhouse with high ceilings and twinkling chandeliers? Perhaps a snow-covered castle?

Are you kidding? Our venue was thirty seconds from my house! Best decision ever! Moving on.

Coolness personified, Elsie's big day by Arrow & Apple via ♥elycia

Okay, now we're getting to it. If I could change one thing, one teeny tiny thing, maybe it would be the bridesmaids' dresses. They were just so... green. I mean GREEN. Perhaps the decision was made too quickly, perhaps I ought to have splurged a bit more, searched harder, chosen something that wasn't so obviously a Bridesmaid's Dress.

But then I never would have been compelled to make fabulous floral sashes for the Green Bridesmaids' Dresses, in an attempt to make them look a bit less Green.

And then I never would have found this picture, hidden inside the last remaining copy of the July issue of Wedding Ideas Magazine on the shelves of my local supermarket last week:

That's right, it's my lovely ladies in print once again. That's twice, for those who are keeping track. They're like totally famous and stuff. Although I would just like to point out that, whilst they are indeed clever bridesmaids, it was *me* who actually made the fabulous floral sashes. You know, me, the bride? The one who isn't even in the picture? Not that I'm jealous, or anything...

I suppose what I'm trying to say, in a roundabout and semi-coherent way, is that Kylie Minogue and quantum physics are both bang on*. I can't go back in time, and even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing.

Me and Fin, and a boy looking jealous of our ice cream, by Lillian and Leonard

*Possibly the most bizarre sentence I have ever written.

What about you? If you're already married, would you change anything about your wedding, if you could?

19 boats moored

  1. Mmmm... there are of course the dress doubts, but that is just a love of dresses, like you say I think there is not one but many dresses there to love.
    But, and I do not know how we could have done this better, the organization of the day could have been less chaotic. Our dear cousin was the master of ceremonies, we had an order of the day, hubs went to our venue in the morning to give instructions and finalize last details, and still it all went so fast, that some things we planned just did not happen, a box with toys was forgotten, and a birthday cake for my mom (whose birthday was the day before the wedding). The cake WAS there,and the candles as well, but the staff from the restaurant just did not take it out. So yeah, I do not know if this would have meant actually hiring a wedding day coordinator, which we refused to do. We were like yeah, we can do all ourselves. I think it was the timing, we planned lots of stuff for a rather short reception. Still when I look back all I remember is joy and a floaty feeling, and being happy for having everyone we love out there...

  2. Rosie (aka Kirsty's Mum)19 July 2011 at 10:55

    We were married so long ago, it is hard to remember! But of one thing I am sure - I loved my wedding dress, which is a miracle seeing as it was 1980. It wasn't actually a wedding dress, you could get it in red or black, but I went for a sort of creamy ivory. In those days, you either got married in a church or registry office - no castles, hotels, woods for us. As I didn't go to church I would have felt bad
    going for that option. Furthermore I was considered quite old (a few weeks off 30) to be getting married for the first time and I remember saying "I would feel daft walking up the aisle with a veil, big frock and posse of bridesmaids". How things have changed. Everything else was great, but for one tiny detail.We hadn't really thought how we would get from the hotel to our flat-details, schmetails - but when it was after midnight, no guests left, no taxis available, the only option was a lift in the band white
    van. Kind of an omen of what marrying a musician would be like....
    PS Loving hearing all about your
    engagements and weddings
    PPS There is NOTHING I would change
    about Kirsty and Fin's wedding!

  3. Hey Kirsty's mum, I'll be nearing 30 when I get married at the end of the year so less of the old please! :)
    Can't comment too much on this as my wedding hasn't happened yet but I think it's like everything in life. Stress too much about making it *perfect* and you kind of ruin it.
    I'm hoping to be zen-like and drift through the day not even noticing anything that doesn't go to plan (in reality I'm a control freak and will no doubt be acutely aware of everything!)

  4. Oh hi there, Me-on-a-bridge! Always nice to clock yourself looking faux-graceful crossing a bridge with wine in hand as the blog page loads... Thank you for your loveliness Kirsty, it's very, very sweet of you.

    If I could change anything? Then it would just be me and him, two strangers for witnesses and a picnic lunch. But then I would have to change the groom too as he was completely opposed to the idea, and I'm not so up for that.

    So, no! Not a thing. Except maybe not drinking that bottle of champagne FROM THE BOTTLE. Itold you, faux-graceful.


  5. I still can't believe I only just stumbled across Aisling's wedding - just, WOW. 5 month engagements mean I'm a little behind here ladies, excuse me.

    And anyway Kirsty, I didn't even connect your blog with your RMW piece but when I clicked the link here I squealed aloud as I'd seen it and LOVED it already. One of those that you really remember... esp the icecream shots, the Maids in Shades (rad) and the beachy loveliness of it all.

    There are a thousand things I would have done differently to be honest, but I don't think there's any way for a wedding day to be perfect, and I loved what we ended up with, warts and all. Unless you send yourself back in time now to speak to your unmarried self with strict instructions and possibly a clipboard (sometimes I wish so hard for time travel) I don't think there is ANY way to improve on the way we go about it. There's no Bride School! We have no training! Look at how gorgeous our weddings were REGARDLESS of this fact! WE WIN!


  6. Rosie (aka Kirsty's Mum)19 July 2011 at 11:48

    Hi Linsey - so sorry, 30 is a youngster to be getting married these days! But we are talking about a time when most of my friends were getting married at around 21 and as lots of people didn't live together in the early 70s,some got married young just so they could leave home! My married pals were always trying to set me up with the most god-awful blokes, but I used to say "I am just fine on the shelf, as long as I get dusted every now and again"!

  7. Kirsty's mum, you are very cool!

    I'm not married (or even engaged) yet but as 1 half of a couple that's about to hit 9 years we are thinking and talking weddings a fair bit at the moment. Aisling's is one of my all time faves and I love the whole beach/ice cream/sunglasses thing from yours Kirsty!

  8. I really like your conclusion! :) I'm still too close to mine to perform this test, but I loved the post!

  9. 'Get dusted off now and again' is a brilliant phrase! I know exactly what you mean, at my age my mum and dad were married for 9 years and had 2 kids, one at school. Madness!

  10. I love your wedding Kirsty, especially as it is in my favourtie seaside town.

    I'm getting married on Saturday. I don't feel the wedding is completely "me", but the day has influences of me, Andy, parents and in-laws. Its all about compromise, not just the bride!

    Not that it reflects anything on our relationship, but Andy and my views on the wedding day are quite different. Andy likes the traditional wedding, and I'd like a registry office do and very informal garden party.

    My parents are insisting on paying though, and they much prefer Andy's traditional wedding.

  11. This past weekend I took part my husband's brother's wedding.

    They are two of three boys who make up a set of identical triplets. (we were married in December) Comparisons ABOUNDED. Not just by me, by everyone around. I'd love to say that I watched everything without envy, but that would be such a lie. It was so lovely, but a but difficult.

    I'm a different person now than I was at my wedding, and MUCH different then when I was wedding planning, making all those early decisions that have to be done right away and then are set in stone. I would probably change a lot.

    But there's way, way more that I would NOT change. Like the entire feeling of that day. And that helps with the envy...

  12. Katie - you're getting married on Saturday?! Congratulations!! That is so exciting. Our wedding, too, was a product of compromises between various people, and maybe if I had been planning it in a vacuum it would have been very different, but like I say: I wouldn't change it. I'm sure yours will be amazing - will be thinking of you on Saturday!

    (Oh, and Mum - DUSTED OFF?? I'm not sure I needed to hear that, thanks very much!)

  13. I got married almost three years ago, but still love reading a select few wedding blogs (sad, I know) :) (That's how I came across your fab blog).

    I loved our wedding day and I wouldn't really change a thing (except for maybe my hair). There will, of course, always be that dull ache in my heart when I think of our wedding; my father-in-law died unexpectantly six days before our wedding day. This served to really remind me that these kinds of life events aren't about things like what colour ribbon to bind the programs with - something I had fretted about - but about coming together to celebrate with family and friends.

    That said, we did have a lovely, joy-filled day, which I think is all that either of us ever wanted.

  14. Am I allowed to participate here? I can think of perhaps three things I would change about our wedding:

    1) different photographer. We went to a fantastic photographer, she was going to be on holiday the day of our wedding, and assured us that she would send someone good. The replacement never spoke to us before the wedding and day-of, we were too frazzled to remember to give any suggestions.

    The pictures were so disappointing we didn't order any.

    2) Not that we could really have controlled this, but the heat was a bit much for an early 19th century New England church with no air conditioning.

    3) Perhaps not ply the guests with so much strong drink the night before. It was just as well we had a late afternoon ceremony.

    Otherwise, I can't think of anything... the end result seems to be going well enough so far.

  15. I generally don't read wedding blogs anymore, which is how I cope with the envy and compulsion to have yet ANOTHER wedding. ;) And even when something slips under my no wedding radar, and I do feel envious, I look at our photos again. And then... no. I wouldn't change A THING.

  16. I would change LOTS. I liked your vacuum comment Kirsty - our wedding was fun and lovely and it was so wonderful to see close friends and family together, but it really wasn't 'us', if you get me. It was much more like a weddingy wedding than we really cared for, due to various compromises and preconceived ideas that weren't shifted until decisions were made and deposits paid...we would do over with an elopement and 6 month world travelling holiday, followed by a lower-key bbq type affair. Same shoes, different dress. That is much more us! I don't regret what we had, just look back on it with a twinge of sadness that we don't get a do-over...

  17. Hmm. I want to be upbeat. I would not change our ceremony for the world.

  18. Colin, obviously I was too young to partake in the strong drink but I do remember mum being "unwell" that day... oh, and "the end result seems to be going well enough so far" - well, really, what more can you ask for?

    Lovely to hear all of your different takes on it. Becs, I love how the one thing you wouldn't change would be your shoes. A girl after my own heart.

  19. Mostly, I wouldn't have booked our flight to the Virgin Islands for so early the day after the wedding, or at least not from an airport 3 hours away from where we got married. Talk about EXHAUSTION. I also would've gone with a different caterer, despite how good the food was. He was an arse, and I'd never recommend him to anyone. I would've made sure the sound system worked & that the playlist was properly set up. And I would've made sure to get photos with everyone possible. (Totally my fault, not my photographers' - they were fantastic.)

    All that aside, it was still lovely.


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