Summer Love-In: How to Marry a Doctor

Monday, June 13, 2011

And we're off! I'm extra excited about this first Summer Love-In post, because it's by someone who doesn't blog regularly; in fact, it's by someone who doesn't blog AT ALL. Today's post is brought to you by one of my lovely readers, Esme. You might recognise her from her smart, sweet comments on Rock My Wedding, Any Other Wedding and of course this here blog. She also popped up on Any Other Wedding when her wedding budget was starting to stress her out (yup, I think many of us have been there...), but this is her first ever actual proper blog post and I feel very honoured to share it with you all - thanks Esme! 
Esme has been a supporter of this blog since I was only about a month in, when she emailed me out of the blue to tell me she thought my blog was fab (which, by the way, you should all feel free to do). She always seems to send me the sweetest, most cheering emails at just the right time, when I'm having a bad blog day and contemplating packing it all in and going back to eating Party Rings and watching Grey's Anatomy 24/7, so I am forever grateful to her. Also, can I just mention how stunning Esme is in these photos?? Her fiancé is one lucky guy.
Speaking of which, remember the "summer" theme? Well, for Esme, summer this year means one thing and one thing only: WEDDING!!!!! AAAARGH!!!!! (yup, been there too.) So, without further ado, I give you Esme's definitive guide on How to Marry a Doctor...

Now you’re probably thinking one of two things: “Thank goodness, FINALLY a post that’s going to help me get somewhere in life – I need myself a husband who’ll look after me!”/ “Er, what’s this? I thought Kirsty was a vaguely-feminist-successful-lawyer-doing-this-on-my-own woman. [Ed note: you did? Awesome!] We don’t want advice on bagging a man – we don’t need men!” But I’m going to stop you there – this post is actually not going to be a guide to finding yourself a successful man to marry and thus becoming a lady of leisure [Ed note: damn it!]. This is actually about how, strangely, that’s the situation I find myself in... 

Let me explain: I’m getting married this summer (13th August to be exact) to my ‘childhood sweetheart’ (we’ve been together since we were 16) who is a Cambridge graduate and is now studying for a PhD in Chemistry. He’s all set to have an all-star academic career, after winning a prestigious scholarship to finance his cutting-edge-never-been-attempted-before research and whilst I’ve always known that he was incredibly bright and intelligent, this is all a bit weird to me. 

You see, we were in the same classes at school – in fact, we ‘met’ in a Chemistry class, ironic, no? – studied together, got similar marks in tests, his Mum often credits me for his GCSE grades, and got offers from the same universities. When he went to Cambridge, I went to a similarly excellent university and worked even harder than him. After our first set of exams as undergraduates, I got the highest marks in my group, whilst he failed Maths and Physics. After graduating, I helped him get his first job, whereas I already had one.

And then his university supervisor got offered a promotion at a different university and offered him a space to continue the research he’d started at Cambridge. Everyone always thought he’d do a PhD anyway, so this didn’t come as a surprise to our families or friends, but it was a hard decision for us, as it meant me leaving a job with excellent prospects and moving across the country for him. 5 months later, he proposed and we started planning our wedding for the following summer. About 6 months after that my new job wasn’t going well and I hadn’t really settled into our new area. Then it hit me: my career might never pick up, whereas his was going from strength to strength – had I signed myself to being a Doctor’s Wife, and nothing more?

Maybe I’m exaggerating. It’s certainly true that I’m still young and just starting out in the world of work, and you never know what twists and turns my career might take. I am so incredibly excited to be marrying the boy who makes me feel like a whole person, someone who I met when I was young and was lucky enough to grow closer and closer to, who supports me in every way, shares my core beliefs, ultimately is going to be the perfect husband for me and with whom I look forward to sharing many, many more adventures. I really can’t wait! But yet, I find myself answering the question of what kind of job I’m looking for (I’m still in the same one I started when we moved and it hasn’t got any better) with, “What do you mean? I’m marrying a doctor! I’m set!” and even my Dad told me on the phone the other night that he was so happy that I’m marrying my boy because, “He’s going to be so successful”. 

The conclusion I’ve come to is that, although he’s enough for me, my role as his wife doesn’t have to be enough for me. We’re just about to embark on a new exciting stage of our lives together, and we’re going to focus on that, and just see what happens. Life’s too short not to! Oh, and one more thing: you can’t even begin to imagine how proud I am of my boy. The day when he stands on the stage in his red gown and silly hat and accepts his PhD certificate will be one of the proudest moments of my life. I’m getting a tear in my eye just thinking about it. 

And plus, I get to call him The Doctor, which makes me think of David Tennant, which in turn is not a bad thing... Win, win!

All the luscious images are from Esme and Tom's pre-wedding shoot with MartMari Photography

6 boats moored

  1. Cool blog! Best wishes to both Esme and Tom!

  2. Oh I love this, Esme! It's so honest, and so full of love, and admiration, and it's real, and true. What adventures you have had together - and the DNA smarts you both have are awe-inspiring!x

  3. Congrats on the first post!
    I've got a PhD in Chemistry and occasionally get called doctor. It makes me laugh. But I hope my boyfriend doesn't think he's sorted by marrying me!
    Also, the best part isn't graduation - it's viva night!

  4. my other half is a postdoc at edinburgh uni, he's physics not chemistry, but i feel your pain. i'm studying to be a paediatric nurse, which should be the noble profession in the relationship but it's always overshadowed by the fact he's curing cancer... righty, i suppose. but it does annoy me a bit! i refer to him as doctor dave. he thinks it's weird.

  5. Hehe, thanks girls. I had lunch with a high-flying female family friend on Saturday (I won't tell you who she is, but lets just say you will have heard of her...) and she made me think so differently about my career and working future. It's weird how much pressure we all put on ourselves, isn't it? xx

  6. I always thought that I had to be defined by my career, but as I graduated a year ago and still haven't found stable, long term employment, I have found that I have to define myself by other things - what I do, what I like, and who I love.


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