It's a hard job, but someone's got to do it.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Tomorrow I embark on an aggressive programme of relaxation and beautification the likes of which the world has never known. From massages to manicures, facials to fake tans, even a brief but thrilling foray into acupuncture: my spa attendance in the next three weeks will represent a 10,000% increase on the whole of the previous three years. It's going to be... intense.
Stylist magazine (Emerald Street's big sister) is compiling a list of the top beauty treatments in the UK and I selflessly volunteered to help with the reviews. Hey, what's a fledgeling freelance career for if you can't indulge in a few perks now and then? It's free, I'm Scottish, this was always going to happen.
Between now and the beginning of June, I'll be leaving no hot stone unturned in the name of journalistic research. Sunshine will burst from my every pore. Soothed muscles will cover my bones like jelly over ice cream. My skin will be so radiant, people will have to wear sunglasses just to look at me.
How lovely, you might think. What could be more relaxing? I'll tell you what could be more relaxing. Not trying to cram seventeen spa therapies into a full-time working week could be more relaxing. Not having to drive to Perthshire and back the day after a hen do could be more relaxing. Not building a spreadsheet of opening hours versus length of treatment versus distance from office versus fickle salon owners' availability could be more relaxing.
What's that noise? Is it the sound of the world's tiniest violin? I know, I know, I shouldn't complain. In truth I can't wait, fickle salon owners aside. The first time I ever had a massage I felt like I was walking on air; every massage since has been an attempt to recapture that euphoric high. So far, as is often the case with these things, it's never been as good as the first time, but maybe my forthcoming massage marathon will be the answer. Or maybe it will release a noxious cloud of toxins into my body and make me horribly ill. I guess we'll find out.
Are any of you lot closet beauty addicts? I have to say, you don't seem the type (said with love, since I myself haven't darkened a beautician's door for months and I like to think I'm not a hairy troll). How about acupuncture? I generally prefer to put my faith in modern medicine, but acupuncture intrigues me. There must be a reason it's survived so long. Plus, porcupine chic is so in right now, darling.
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19 boats moored
I went from acupuncture cynic to true believer after I had massive back problems following a car accident. did find some practicioners better than others but if you can get it working for chronic pain it's like magic. my sceptic grandmother swore it was the only thing that worked for her arthritis too!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you may need a spa weekend to get over your spa madness .....
Px
I feel a bit of a cheat because I don't have any chronic pain or particular conditions, plus i'm not sure how much difference one session could make to my general wellbeing, but I'm going in with an open mind. Grandmothers are seldom wrong about these things!
DeleteI think running around to get them all done might cancel out some of the benefits!
ReplyDeleteSome of them sound good though, and I look forward to the write up. I've never had spa treatments but I've considered acupuncture.
This sounds like the best job ever! I have never tried acupuncture,but did try reflexology and it was fantastic, so relaxing and felt like I had undergone a massive detox (which of course I hadn't!)
ReplyDeleteHa! Yeah the first treatment is tomorrow, probably not the best idea after tonight... x
DeleteIf I was in the UK I would love to work with you as a stylist.
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you Stefanie!
Deletesounds like a pretty good deal to me. I'm not a frequent salon attendee, in fact I only had my first manicure thanks to my current job and that's because they pay for it! If they paid for me to have acupuncture I'd definitely try it but i'm not entirely sure how that would work as a business expense...enjoy the spa marathon!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club of bittersweet benefits. Haha this post had me laughing! But no, STILL have no done accupuncture or reflexology like the other commenter mentioned and both have raving reviews. I'm so slow to everything though. Once we try it, its like we did we wait so long. C'est la vie!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE acupuncture! My mum's a Physio and does it as part of her treatments sometimes so I make her stick needles in my back when I'm tired and it's amazing.
ReplyDeleteShe's been putting a couple in my forehead recently and it is making such a big difference to my frownline! MIRACLE!!!
I'm so glad you said it, because I've also never been able to experience as great a high as I felt after my very first massage. Euphoric. Now some are better than others, but nothing is pure 100% bliss like my first.
ReplyDeleteHave a great time spa-ing it up!
I get massages every week. They just keep me put together.
ReplyDeleteI really should do more in terms of my skin, I just have never truly delved into it. Please do post your findings on anything that works well!
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I think I might be a hairy troll. I never go to get beauty stuff done! I did have a pedicure once though... that was nice, despite how ashamed I was of my manky toenails. Never tried acupuncture, but massage is objectively a nice thing!
ReplyDeleteBest beauty treatment/facial ever is courtesy of Stephanie Archer at Vaishaly. The first time I ever plucked up the courage to spend quite so much money on something so frivolous, I left having forgotten how to frown. Really. Actually it was quite weird, I felt like I was floating down the street with a completely immobile face. Like one of those eerie clown balloons. I have been using Vaishaly's cleanser (bought in the 2-for-1 periods over Christmas, so they only work out as being Quite Expensive, rather than Immoral) with her massage technique, and having facials with Stephanie or Louise when funds permit, for the past year-and-a-half, and my skin has definitely thanked me for it.
ReplyDeleteHowever, Vaishaly is in London. Which I think may stretch your spreadsheet a bit far. So I will get to keep this wonderknowledge to myself, and those I like :-)
Oh and PS I am doctor peddling modern medicine, and I think acupuncture can be pretty damn fine. More than any other treatment I've come across (and I've tried a few), however, it really depends on finding the right practitioner for you. So you may have to try a few pricks before you find your therapist. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am SOOO jealous! I love a good beauty treatment and cant wait to read what ones you think are best. Have fun!
ReplyDeleteHey, great post! I Just came across your blog and I love it, your style is amazing! I'm also from Edinburgh,it's great to see someone else blogging from EDINBURGH :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you can check out my blog too. Hopefully we can also follow each other as well if you would like to :)
www.malefashionuk.blogspot.co.uk
ACUPUNCTURE FTW. Seriously. And I'm a well hairy troll who's never even had a pro massage. (I need to fix this ASAP.)
ReplyDeleteBTW, I really need to click over more often. It's looking SO PRETTY over here these days.
If you're that curious about acupuncture, I suggest you give it a try. What's good about alternative treatments is that it guarantees to have no other side effects aside from soothing effect. It relieves and helps your body to release tension and stress. There's no harm in trying. :)
ReplyDelete-Coleman Lindner @ USHealthWorks.com/South-San-Francisco-Center