The American fashion retailer Aritzia has cropped up a few times lately, both on the few fashion blogs I still occasionally read and in the wardrobes of some transatlantic online friends, so naturally I thought I'd check it out. Turns out everyone forgot to mention that it caters exclusively to the zombie-apocalypse-circa-1993 demographic! Whoops!



I mean, WHAT IS THIS POSE?? What was going through the heads of everyone on set that day? "Wonderful, darling, now look into the camera and really feel the deadly infection seeping through your veins. Great, and just roll up your cuff a bit so we can see the teeth marks. Perfect."


And don't even get me started on the orthopaedic bandage-sandals this one's wearing. Frankly I think I'd rather surrender my soul to an eternity of dead-eyed cannibalism than walk around in public wearing those.


Next time, maybe the models could just, I don't know, stand normally? Maybe smile a bit? Like normal people? You know, those people who buy the clothes? Just a suggestion.

Another suggestion, free of charge: destroy that sleeveless cropped denim jacket. In fact, destroy all sleeveless cropped denim jackets in existence. They probably aren't the source of a deadly killer zombie virus, but they certainly are hideous, and you can never be too careful.

Love,
Person Who Spends Way Too Much Time Online Window Shopping

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All images via Aritzia.